I need him .. As soon as possible ..

Why ? Kenak ? Pahal ? Kimennn da juak . .  Why ?? Seriously, I really cant forget him L . .  Bermacam2 cara ku dah coba tapi, makin sakit rasa aty ku . .  I just wish yang aku just shut down trus or amnesia . . So that i can forget my pain and sorrow that i’ve suffered . .  Really, Im not seeking for any attention . .  this is TRUE . . Every hour, every minute, every second, I struggle myself from crying because of my stupidity and selfish actions L . . If i can turn back on 6th December 2010, I wouldve never send that text .  .Because of my damn stupid mistake, I have ended a tie with someone whom i love more that i love my life . . Now, this is my balasan . . STUPID STUPID DIANA ! :’( Im really in regret right now . . I want him back .  . He’s like my soul . . without him, im lifeless . . That’s why I reject people . .  Im deeply sorry . . Its not that Im LAWA or anything, It’s just that I dont want you guys to suffer . . I cant be with someone that Im not in love with . . I really wish that he would come back to me :’( . . But, I know that’ll never happen . . Things will never be the same .  . Call me hypocrite, Selfish, anything you want . .  because, i dont care about it anymore . . I really miss him~, He’s my evrything, my heart,my blood, my soul . . My heart is still aching . . And, It will until the day he’ll be mine again :’( .  . The moment haunts me in my sleep, interfering with my studies and my enviroment . . God, please help me . . Im begging for Your guidance . . I want to be the old me again L . . A funny careless girl . . Now, everyday is an emotional day for me . .  Its like my mind is in haywire . . I cant think of anything instead of him . . I noticed my self changing . . Physically and mentally L . . Everytime i try to put him off my mind, the memories come to life .  . I cant belive my own mind sabotaged me . . I really want him back !!!!!!!!! I dont care a damn what people thinks about him anymore !!! He’s mine . .  He’s perfect for me ! And you guys cant judge him ! Im just really sorry that i’ve been so selfish and only thinking about myself and peoples comment about you L Im really SORRY . . Ive known that your not guilty . . I wish i could just killmysef right now . .  i know that in your heart,there’s only me until i broke it . . Im SORRY . . Please . . I cant suffer  anymore .  . I cant face the pain . . if i can send this to you,  i hope you understand . . Please .  Ku tauk bukan nya mudah  tuk kembali  . . My sweet dreams are shattered . . youreonce my sweet dream, but now,  your my perfect nightmare . . Your presence hauntse . . These wounds wont seem to heal, this pain is just to real, there’s just too much that time cannot erase . . Loosing you is like loosing everything that i once loved . . U left e and you took away all of my pleasant things in life . . WHY ???PLEASE . . I REAL